We’ve read about the moms we see at the pool and the park, but let’s get real here and talk about the moms that we find at the one place where we really spend all our time. Facebook. Don’t deny it, you spend way more time on Facebook than you do at the park and pool combined so let’s just talk about our favorite Facebook moms.
1. The Hashtag Abuser Mom –
You know this mom, she can’t write an update without overusing hashtags. Justin and Jimmy have nothing on this mom.
2. Constantly Complaining Mom –
Nothing makes this mom happy, from her not quite hot enough latte to the not quite fast enough mom ahead of her in the carpool lane, she is under appreciated and not afraid to let the world know it. This mom will always find something to complain about.
3. The TMI Mom-
This mom is the epitome of oversharing. She’ll not only tell you what her toddler had for breakfast, but she’ll tell the color it was when it came back out. The only people who haven’t unfriended her are the other TMI moms that have found that discussing the 3 p’s (poop, puke and pus) is the best way to bond.
4. Uber Fit Mom-
Marathons, Tough Mudder and a Triathalon all before lunch. This mom eats 5ks for breakfast. While the rest of us are trying to muster up the energy just to get out of bed, she has likely already finished a half marathon.
5. The Perfect Mom –
We all know this mom. She looks like she stepped out of Vogue and I know I saw her kitchen on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens. Clearly, she ordered her beautiful kids from a catalog, and I’m pretty sure that her husband was a former GQ model…..but what we hate most about this mom is that we actually can’t hate her. We find ourselves liking and commenting on her photos of her adorable kids, beautiful house & perfect family to the point of crossing the creepy stalker line on more than one occasion.
6.The Facebook Alcoholic Mom –
Much like the social alcoholic that only drinks at parties, this mom only drinks on Facebook. If she’s not drinking wine, she’s posting about how she needs to be drinking wine. Her feed is full of memes letting us know just how drunk she wants to be and, as the day progresses, pictures of empty wine glasses letting us know how drunk she is.
7. The Crusader Mom –
This mom is on a mission to educate the entire world about her cause. Vaccines, red dye, GMO foods, pink hippos in tutus, nothing is safe from this mom. She will fill your news feed with the latest studies, articles and videos supporting her cause. Careful people, she has a soapbox and she’s not afraid to use it!
8. The Buzzkill Mom –
The buzzkill mom and complaining mom may seem similar, but there is a big difference. Constantly complaining mom is only focused on her own misery, but buzzkill mom wants to ruin all your fun and make you as miserable as she is.
9. The Uber Gullible Mom-
This mom lives by the motto “they can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true”. Her feed is full of miracle cures, get rich quick schemes and ridiculous public service announcements.
10. The Backhanded Braggy Mom-
Unlike the perfect mom, we love to hate the backhanded braggy mom. Her brags disguised as complaints make you wish Facebook had a throat punch button.