Full Disclosure: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Acorn Influence for Kimberly Clark. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
We need to talk………… Lately, you have become exceedingly high maintenance. I feel like I can’t take you anywhere. You are constantly interrupting my day with your endless whining, “I gotta goooooooo! Now! I can’t hold it!” Honestly, you’re worse than a 2 year old. I have to stop what I’m doing every 10 minutes so that you can relieve yourself. Seriously. I’ve got better things to do and your incessant need to be catered to is wearing on my nerves. Big time.
Look, I know I’m a little to blame here. I get that you’re still miffed that I allowed 6 babies to use you as their personal punching bag for months at a time, but come on now, don’t you think you’ve taken your revenge a little too far.
You know I peed during a tennis match last week. I had run out of my precious Poise Liners and didn’t have time to run to Walmart to get more…..you couldn’t just let it go, could you. You saw an opening and you took it. As soon as I reached up for that serve, you showed me that you have truly lost any semblance of self control. You probably thought it was hilarious. I did not think it was hilarious. I think it was evil. Actually, I kinda think you’re evil.
Remember the good old days? Remember when I could jump, cough, sneeze and breath without fear of a torrential downpour? Remember when I could laugh without repercussions? Remember life before Kegels? It can be that way between us again.
I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, I really do. Maybe we just aren’t communicating properly, so let’s set the record straight…….I’m not pregnant anymore, I’m not a toddler and I’m not an 80 year old lady. Please, get it together. You are embarrassing both of us with your outbursts. I’m not big on threats, but, keep in mind what happened to your friend Uterus when she stopped listening to reason….
If you are like me and millions of other moms out there suffering with revenge seeking bladders, just know you are not alone and there is a product out there that can help. Poise Liners (conveniently found at your local Walmart) do a much better job than a typical maxi pad. While they won’t heal the wounds between you and your bladder, they can at least help you live without the embarrassment of small leaks while you and your bladder work things out. Here’s a $2.00 coupon to get you started 🙂