*Caution, affiliate links ahead…Don’t worry, I’ll use the money for something practical, like wine…. or a pony!
Confession time….I’m a single mom….but I’m married….yep you heard me right, I’m a married, single mom…No, I’m not separated, going through a divorce or widowed. The fact is that my husband travels for work making me a single mom for approx 70% of the time.
I figured it was time to shed some light on this lifestyle. We often hear the plight of the single mom, the working mom, the stay at home mom, but we don’t often hear about those of us who have husbands that travel for or work, or even worse are deployed for months, even years, at a time (I need to write an article just for ya’ll! I’m amazed at your strength!!)
I feel like I have a split personality most days, I never know if I am coming or going.
Let me lay out a typical scene at our house:
Hubby is gone for 2 weeks and the kids and I get into a nice routine, my June Cleaver comes out and a perfectly healthy, delicious dinner is on the beautifully set table at 6:00 every night, kids are bathed daily, hair and teeth are actually brushed, and my darling, well behaved children are in bed by 8:30. All is right with the world.
Fast forward 2 weeks, daddy is home, for an extended stay of 3 whole days. Chaos now reigns supreme at the nuthouse. June Cleaver has been replaced by Rosanne. Dinner is served on a blanket in front of the TV, sometime around 8 and consists of crackers, cheese and something that was once probably meatloaf, but who the hell knows any more. The hooligans are less than clean and I’m pretty sure that I will be combing a rats nest out of my 7 year olds hair long after everybody else has passed out on the floor…….in front of the TV…..in a pile of crackers.
This is how it goes week after week, month after month in our house.
I have to be honest though….. I secretly love the chaos that ensues when my hubby finally makes his way home. At first it was hard to give up my perfect routine and send June Cleaver packing, but the time we have together is so much better when I give up control and what I want to make sure that my family gets this time together, uninterrupted.
This isn’t the time for dishes, baths or laundry. This is the time for Star Wars marathons cuddled on the couch, ice cream sundaes, playing games in our pajamas all day on a Tuesday, falling asleep on the playroom floor after watching The Princess Bride for the 5th time that day or an impromptu trip somewhere fun. These are the moments that I live for, when there is no job, no chores, just us, even if only for a couple days.
This life is tough in a lot of ways, having to have my routine disrupted without warning isn’t always easy. It sucks not always being able to shove a bat in my husband’s hands and push him down the stairs when I hear a noise in the middle of the night. It sucks when you’re nursing a 2 month old and everyone, including you, comes down with the stomach flu for 48 hours and your husband is in a hotel on the beach in Miami. It sucks when you just need a hug from someone who totally gets you, but have to settle for a phone call instead. Yes that all sucks, but there are some perks too 🙂
I can sleep in the middle of the bed. After the kids go to bed I don’t have to fight over who gets to be couch commando and control the TV. I can watch Downton Abbey all night and eat ice cream right out of the container and no one will bitch and moan about it. Best of all? I don’t have to shave my legs for weeks on end. So sexy, I know!
It’s not so bad this little life of mine, it might seem strange and you might think I’m crazy for living like this, but the truth is, my husband’s job is the reason that our marriage is so strong. At the risk of sounding completely cheesy, absence really does make the heart grow fonder.