*Caution, affiliate links ahead…Don’t worry, I’ll use the money for something practical, like wine…. or a pony!
Picture it, I’m standing in line at Costco, 2 carts piled to the ceiling and 6 kids grubby from samples of chocolate cream puffs, yogurt and probably some vodka shots. Amid the looks of pure horror from the other customers, one woman has the cojones to say what they are all thinking.
“Are they all yours?”
I pause, take a deep breath and try to decide whether to be a smartass or a saint. The woman had a look of disgust on her face at the sight of my heathens. Smartass it is.
“No, I’m actually a hoarder, I found these ones in the parking lot and decided to add them to my collection”
I’m always amazed at the comments and questions I get from complete strangers. I don’t know why people feel the need to comment on or question my life choices, especially when they have absolutely nothing to do with them. Well, at least I get a good blog post out of it!
Here are the questions I get asked on a weekly, if not daily, basis (and their comebacks):
1. “Is your TV broken?” Response: “You think TV is more fun than sex? Clearly you are doing it wrong, you know, my husband gives lessons Wednesday night at the Y, in fact we can give you a quick demonstration in the parking lot right now”
2. “Don’t you know how babies are made?” Response “No, no one ever taught me. Do you have some time right now? Maybe you could draw me some pictures?”
3. “Are they all from the same father?” Response “My husband thinks so.”
4. “Are you done?” Response “Nah, we are just going to keep going until we get an ugly one”
5. “Are you______(Catholic, Mormon, a Duggar)?” Response “Darn you caught me, I’m a Catholic Mormon that is secretly married to Jim Bob. Don’t tell anyone, okay?”
6. “I could NEVER do it! How do you handle it?” Response “Rope, duct tape and copious amounts of alcohol”
Seriously people, just because I pushed many tiny humans out of my body, does not mean that you can ask me anything you want. I don’t mind talking to you about my family, just be tactful about the questions you ask. I would never ask you about your sex life (or lack of), please don’t ask me about mine.